Way easier said than done. She had tons of questions. She wanted to know why she didn’t have baby pictures without oxygen and she wanted to know where Andons baby pictures WITH oxygen were. I explained that babies are suppose to grow and cook in a mommys tummy for a long period of time. Andon stayed in for the full cooking time. However, Noelle was just so excited to see us that she came a bit too early. I told her that this was the coolest thing because mommy, daddy and Andon were able to watch her grow on the outside of my tummy instead of inside. I told her we were able to hold her, play with her, sing to her much sooner than most other babies. Her smile and amazement told me I was doing an okay job. I asked her if she wanted to see more and she said yes!
I have boxes of every little paper,
every form signed, each and every blood pressure cuff as they got
bigger, the
bilirubin “sunglasses”, pictures upon pictures, every diaper size she went
through (clean of course), each binky size, sweeties containers, outfits, hats,
blankets, anything homemade by volunteers or nurses, surgery pager papers,
“Drama Queen” pillows still in the same plastic bags, I even kept her first
g-tube! I pulled all this stuff out and showed it to her. Patiently waiting to
see if I had made the right choice to share at age 5. I did! She was amazed and
astonished at everything. She wanted to look through every little thing and
asked for explanations.
The outfits were a hit, the diapers
were a hit, everything she looked at was filled with big eyes and “awww’s!”
Almost as if something had clicked. She understood. She asked a few more
questions…. For instance, why do her lungs need oxygen? My answer of her lungs
being so small when she was born finally clicked. I hope a lot of things
clicked. I explained the scary pictures. Even though, it looked like she was
tiny with a lot of tubes….look at mom’s face!
That picture was the day I got to hold
you for the first time.
Oh, look! That was your first bath!
That was the day you got to try out
peanut (she knows peanut as her bipap machine…it just looks a little different
on a tiny baby).
Look, this was the day we got to say
goodbye to your warming bed (isolette) and you got to be in a big girl crib!
Look! This was your first Thanksgiving,
Christmas and New Year! All in the hospital surrounded by people who love you.
We have pictures with each nurse,
doctor and therapist. So, she wanted to know who they were….name by
name…picture by picture. So we did. It’s been five years and I still know every
name and face. I still know the smells, I still can hear the machines beeping …
I’m glad she won’t know that part. Then, I was able to match faces and names to
things she knew. For instance, Nurse Megan and Nurse Tonya made a lot of
Noelle’s signs. Nurse Emily made her night night CD that she STILL listens to
every night. It went on and on….
She just knew that each person holding
her was smiling and happy to be with her. I explained that she spent so much
time with these doctors and nurses…that they loved her like family.
It was a bittersweet evening with
Noelle and I. We went through so much together and I felt like I finally got to
share it with her. She needs to know how special she is, how loved she is, and
how much people generally enjoy being around her and with her. She needs to
understand what a true miracle she is!
As we approach Christmas next week, I’m
reminded of all those babies, doctors, nurses, therapist and staff who will be
at the hospital on Christmas. All the parents that will visit their sweet
babies in the hospital on Christmas Day. Say an extra prayer for those. It’s
hard to visit your child in the hospital on Christmas. However, the people that
are there make it so special. I’ll never forget that. Say a prayer for the
people working in the hospital on Christmas. They are leaving their families to
take care of others. I hope they know how appreciated and thankful the parents
are…even if they seem sad. It’s been 5 years….and I’m not sure if I’ve ever
said thank you to those people. So… THANK YOU! Thank you not only for making
Christmas special for those in a cruddy situation….but thanks for making such
wonderful memories that I was able to share with my gal 5 years later. I’m so
thankful that her baby pictures are no longer scary. The reason being because I
was able to express the memories behind those pictures.
Merry Christmas from the Mikels!
Xoxo,
Stacie Posted on December 16, 2013 by snrmikels
No comments:
Post a Comment