Life after vacation can be rough.No sooner had you gotten used to your surroundings away from home and begun to relax when you need to gear up for your trip back home. It may take a while to re-adjust and get up to speed with your work and home life.
So many kids struggle with changes
to routine. But a child with challenges may have an even deeper struggle with
change of any kind. “Sameness” seems to be the name of the game. A child with
special needs often reacts negatively to tiny changes in his life. Small things
(such as bed sheets, pajamas, breakfast cereal) need to be kept the same or a
meltdown will ensue. If you went through the pains of helping your child adjust
to going away, and after a period of adjustment your child settled in and had a
good time, you may be in for a tough time when you arrive back home as you try
to change back to his new “old” routine. For many special needs children,
transitions are like going into a black hole –they are scary and cause great
anxiety.
How can your help your child adjust
to going home?
It is important to prepare your
little one for the transition home. A photo of your home, his room and toys
should be in his communication book. Point to it and explain to him you will be
going home. If you know you are taking a plane or a long car ride to get home,
show him the picture of a plane or car so that he knows what will be happening
next. But, be careful not to tell him too early, as children don’t have a clear
sense of time and would expect that shortly after you point to the pictures in
his book, he will then be back home.
Once you arrive home, positive
reinforcement can work wonders. Rewarding all the things he is doing “right”
can go a long way in keeping the peace. If you have a sticker chart or reward
system in place, keep it going throughout the transition home. Remember,
re-entry is really hard for your child. He is not trying to annoy you or be
difficult. It’s just the way he’s wired…so try to be patient.As you slide back into your routine, make a book of your vacation memories. You can print out the photos of your trip and make a book so that your little one can “read” it from time to time and remember that he was there. This will help for the next time you wish to travel to a place as he will remember that he had fun on a previous trip. The more you go away (even on short day trips), the more memory books you can create. These books will be a testament that your little one is making progress. It will help him become confident in his ability to accept change and maybe even learn to like it.
Should you go away again?
It is hard to break routine and
inject new people, places, foods, smells, beds and countless other new senses
into the life of your special needs child. But, the more times your child is
successful at transitioning through change, the more successful he is going to
become at it. That is not to say it is easy, but over time it usually becomes
less hard. As your child becomes more verbal, he can express to you what will
help him be successful. Sometimes simple things such as allowing an extra few
minutes to leave the house so that he can say “good bye” to each of his stuffed
animals before he leaves may allow you to get out of the house without a
meltdown. It is different for every child. Learn what works for your child and
try to be patient.
Hopefully, in time, your get-aways
will become a welcome change…as they should be.
Note: This post is part of the weekly series Delays and
disabilities – how to get help for your child. It was started on
January 16, 2013 and appears every Wednesday. Click on “Help for your child” and scroll down to view all of the blog posts to date. As
always, we welcome your comments and input.
Tags: Baby, change, child, children,
delays,
disabilities,
preemie,
Special needs,
transitions,
vacation
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