Parenting a child with delays or
disabilities has its challenges, and so does parenting his siblings.
My post last week revealed research
that indicates that the brothers and sisters of a child with disabilities
may have unique issues and
stressors. It’s not easy growing up with a sibling that needs so much
attention. Parents try to do their best – but often end up feeling like an
octopus without enough tentacles. Not to mention the stress of holding the rest
of your life together (job, food shopping, errands, housework, cooking,
laundry, etc., etc.). Making sure the sibs of your special needs child are
doing ok may not be at the top of your to-do list. I get it. Whether your
special needs child is a baby, toddler or older, here are some tips so that
your “typical kids” don’t fall through the cracks.
One of my favorite websites is
NICHCY.org. NICHCY has all sorts of great info on sibling care. Included are topics such as “What Siblings Would Like
Parents and Service Providers to Know” and “What About Me? – Support for the Siblings
of Disabled Children.” They also offer info on sibling support groups which
might be helpful.
NICHCY recommends talking with your
typical children about disability – “it is important for you to take time to
talk openly about your child’s disability with your other children, explaining
it as best you can in terms that are appropriate to each child’s developmental
level.”
Here are tips that worked for me and
some parents I know:
• Tag teaming - try to find a friend
or relative that can take care of your child with a disability so that you can
spend some time with your other children. You then do the same for your
friend’s children.
• Snippets of time – you may not
need to spend 3 hours of 1:1 time with your non-disabled child if you just
spent 3 hours with your child with a disability. Often just 20 minutes of
uninterrupted 1:1 time is enough for your little one to keep him feeling
included. Try to grab snippets of time whenever you can.
But don’t forget about you
In another post in this series, I
gave tips on how to care for YOU – the parents. See Caring for the caretaker – put on your oxygen
mask. You’ll learn tips on how to keep
yourself in check so that you can do the best job in your role as parent,
spouse, childcare coordinator, project manager, file keeper, advocate,
chauffeur, cook, cleaner, worker, and giver and receiver of hugs and kisses
from your little ones!
Remember, you need to take care of
YOU to take care of them.
Note: This post is part of the weekly series Delays and
disabilities – how to get help for your child. It was started on January
16, 2013 and appears every Wednesday. Go to News Moms Need and click on “Help for your child”
on the menu on the right side to view all of the blog posts to date. As always,
we welcome your comments and suggestions for future topics.
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