According to the experts, there is
no straight, cookie-cutter answer. Every child is different. Every medical
condition is different. Kids mature at varying rates, so one five year old may
be capable of understanding details of his condition while another one will not
be able to grasp the concepts. According to the AAP, “The type of information
you convey to your child should be appropriate for your child’s age and
developmental abilities. You can gauge this best by listening to her
questions.”
Seeking advice from your child’s
pediatric health care provider is always a good place to start, along with
other specialists such as a therapist, psychologist, neurologist or
developmental pediatrician. The AAP has practical information on how to talk to your child,
along with tips on how to help him deal with the daily stress of a childhood
disorder.
Just as you probably felt like a
steam roller moved over you when you learned of your child’s condition, your
child may also feel disappointed, sad or even angry. On the other hand, your
child may feel a sense of relief to realize that the condition has a name, he
is not the only child who has it, and mom and dad will be there to support him
through the ups and downs. Other children may not have much of a reaction, as
they already knew what was going on – or felt different – so they are not
especially moved by the new information.
Depending on your child’s age, his
ability to understand, and what he hears from peers and siblings, he may know
more about his condition than you think. And, each year, as he grows and
matures, his ability to understand will increase. AAP recommends that “Every
year or so, someone should check out what the child understands about his illness
or disability, fill in the gaps and correct information that he does not
understand correctly.”
Children’s books on the topic of his
disability can help your child understand what is happening in his world.
Likewise, meeting other children who share his condition may help to put it in
perspective and brighten his outlook. He may even make a new friend or two.
Remember to focus on what your child
CAN do, as opposed to his struggles. This attitude is key in keeping him
focused on the positive. Help him find his passion and celebrate his resilience.
If you have questions, send them to AskUs@machofdimes.org.
View other posts in the series on Delays and Disabilities: How to get help for your child.